Fear-of-the-Lord

In preparing for a class, I have been reading about Christian spirituality, and Eugene Peterson, in his book Christ Plays In Ten Thousand Places, writes that fear-of-the-Lord is the best term to describe our part, or role, or way of getting in on what God is doing, in the Christian Life. His description of fear-of-the-Lord spoke to me in a deep way. He writes that fear-of-the-Lord:

"is not studying about God but living in reverence before God. We don't so much lack knowledge, we lack reverence. Fear -of-the-Lord is not a technique for acquiring spiritual know-how but a willed not-knowing. It is not so much know-how we lack; we lack a simple being-there. Fear-of-the-Lord, nurtured in worship and prayer, silence and quiet, love and sacrifice, turns everything we do into a life of "breathing God."

Oh how I wonder how much time I have spent defining God rather than breathing God. I have known for quite some time that I live in my head. Part of my personality is a tendency toward analysis and logic. I like to know the why of things, and I like explanations. I love lists of dos and don'ts, a step-by-step instruction manual on the Christian life would be so sweet to my wanting-to-do-it-right mindset. Give me the techniques and I will execute, give me the knowledge and I will try to wrap my brain around it.

But God has shown me that in staying so heady, I've missed my heart. There is something intuitive about life in the Spirit. A quieting of the mind before the presence of God in fear-of-the-Lord.

So this Christmas, as I sing the carols at church and consider Christ's birth, I embrace the mystery, I enter into it and resist the obsession with explaining it and applying it. I try to let God be God in his glory without trying to move him onto my agenda. I let him penetrate my heart in a deep way as I surrender my soul to his hand and experience "breathing God."

Hosanna in the highest. Glory to my King.